I’ve recently been doing a lot of self-reflection, based solely on a single blog that I happened to come across, on this very blogging site. It may seem trivial to some people, even ridicule-worthy to others.
How can he undergo a personal transformation based solely on a collection of random thoughts that happened to be bouncing around a random person’s brain? If that’s all it took to enlighten people and get them to buck up, then we’d all be millionaires feasting on chocolate-covered chocolate in a mansion that stood on a chocolate-covered hill.
As you can probably tell, my imaginary friends do not possess the most eloquent of insult-skills, if such a word even exists.
Back to the point, however.
I found myself not being satisfied with the way I was living my life. Not satisfied that I wanted to write yet had no apparent outlet which I could unleash my hitherto undiscovered writing skills on the world. Not satisfied that I did not have the Adonis-like body that I so desired (though not for lack of try-Wait, wait, I can’t even do that with a straight face, so I’ll stop there.) In general, unsatisfied with the way I was living my life.
It’s not very often that you read an article or book that really connects with you, that moves you on some fundamental level. A sort of call to action. That was what I read. But no, it was not from some A-list celebrity, or some bestselling author’s blog.
It was simply from an acquaintance.whom I’d lost touch with. One whom I hadn’t seen in about 6 years. And it was pure chance that I happened to stumble upon his blog. Here is how it happened.
Simply bumming around on Facebook, as one is wont to do, I saw a friend’s post on my newsfeed about a productivity hack. Intrigued, I clicked and proceeded to be amazed in increasing amounts as I realised this was the blog of someone whom I had known once, and it seemed to be a rather successful one.
At this point I must stop and assure you, my reader (Yes, singular, because for the foreseeable future I will probably be the only one who reads this blog. Hi me.) that this blog is not an attempt made by me to emulate his style of writing, or even his own personal philosophies. Rather, this blog is simply an attempt for me to jot down the multitudes of often self-centred thoughts that swirl around in my brain.
I think one reason for this is that I need an outlet to express my thoughts so that my mind feels less cluttered, and another reason is that (I just lost my train of thought here, you see what I mean by cluttered? Oh, ok, and we’re back.) I’ve always wondered about my own writing skills. Convinced though I am of my own writing skills relative to my peers, I have always questioned the absolute skill that I may or may not possess.
Look at him talking about absolute and relative terms. I blame the fact that he’s actually in lecture right now, which somehow seems to render his entire argument about lack of satisfaction moot.
And I’m back. The little paragraphs in italics are the ramblings of another person who exists in my head, my own little troublemaker. Before any assumptions about my mental stability are made, let me assure you that this voice has not at any point (well, not yet, anyway) imposed its will on me and forced me to do something horrific like plucking blades of grass and sprinkling them over a water fountain just as someone is walking under the fountain. Don’t ask, it’s not a pleasant experience.
But back to the point, I did always wonder if I would be able to make it on my own as a writer based on personal feedback I had received previously from people who had enjoyed my writing. This blog, then, serves multiple purposes. To recap
1) To try and clear out the muddle of muck that is my mind.
2) To practice my writing skills.
3) Hopefully, to chart out the progress (hopefully) of my own personal growth.
The third purpose has not been elaborated upon, but it’s the most critical. I say again, I was not satisfied with the way my life was going. No, I am not satisfied. I want to change. I want to develop myself as a human being, as a person. There are so many personal goals I have wanted to acheive for the longest time, but I was unable to due to several flaws in my own character. (That, however, will be the subject of another blog post.) This, then, is another attempt to chronicle my own struggles as I try to beat the odds and my own track record (abysmal to horrible) and change for the better.
I invite you, whoever you may be, to join me. To relate to the struggles that I face on a daily basis, in the hopes that those of you who face similar struggles find hope in knowing there is another out there who shares your woes.
Into the unknown we go.