Overcompensating For The Size Of My Ego.

I was late on the update for this week, so I shall write 2 posts in penance.

Ok, the first thing I need to do here is stop making it seem like this is a punishment for myself. I enjoy writing, I may not necessarily be good at it but I enjoy it. So I write, and when I write I feel slightly better. I don’t always know what I’m going to write about when I sit down and start writing, but I do it anyway, because. Well, because I like writing. As you can tell, my vocabulary in this topic is extensive. Like, really extensive, especially when talking about how much I like writing. Cos I like writing a lot. Like, a lot a lot.

Urgh, that last paragraph disgusts me.

So today is the last day that I am going to have the freedoms afforded to those who are useless members of society (read: unemployed) and with that comes a lot of mixed emotions. I will no longer have all the free time in the world to do what I want. I will no longer be on my own clock with regards to how I carry out my day, in what order, and what I do with the hours of the day that can actually be seen.

On the other hand, I get paid. Cha-Ching!

That is a massive pro right there (yes now this is a pro and con list, shuddup.) Is that the only pro there is?

It’s the only one that matters.

I kid, of course, money isn’t everything. The job I’m going to be starting would, ideally, give me a lot of great experiences working with different groups of people, and dealing with various departments. It’s going to be challenging, and I don’t think I’m going to enjoy it very much for the first few weeks, given my total absence of mental stimulation the past few months. I’m going to have a LOT to learn and a very short time to learn it in. But once that learning curve stabilises, I’d like to think I’d have a lot to contribute to the workplace, and in return, my own skillset would grow, and grow fast.

So with the pros and cons listed out, what’s next?

The anticipation. The trepidation. The fear of not being to do the job well. All these come with anything you do/try for the first time.

Do, or do not. There is-

You do NOT quote Yoda to me, inner voice.

Getting back on topic, I am of course worried if I’ll be able to handle the pressures of the situation. Whether I’ll be good enough for the job to be able to do it well and be recognised. Recognition is, of course, important. More than that, though, I want to know I’m getting better at the job, mainly because I want to develop my skills, as previously mentioned.

Of course, there is something to be said about just throwing all your worries out the window, closing your eyes and hoping for the best.

So let’s see if that works.

Till next time, I suppose. Though when next time will be, I know not for certain.

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